I don knw Y???

Was working in the office today.... Work was hectic from last week and pressure to perform was high. Suddenly my phone rang.. I said Hello... in a very low voice not knowing who is there at the other end.

A voice said hello... Then i realized it is indeed my Mom... Then she said come home early and do not eat anything outside i have made Your favorite dish. I said okie will come and hanged up.

After few seconds i realized that there were tears in my eyes. Is it because of work,boredom,tired i don know.

I don know is mother love behind it. Or even i don know i was hungry.

All i know is Watever i may be to the world.. But for my mom i m still her little who likes her a lot. Is it?? Or more than this.. Really Don know...

Thanks Maaa.....

HiBerNaTe !!!

SLEEP... has become a distant cousin to me. I am in no mood to explain .. the reasons for it !!!

So it is me @hibernation at its best :(

being myself !!

I have been wanting to write for so long, I know this is my often repeated phrase in almost every post, but this time it's not because of a lack of ideas for a great lead, but because i was obsessed to write something.

What provoked me to write was not the usual bad mood or the unusual happiness. It was something I thought I had lost touch with.
Now that I am hoping you want to know what it is that I am yapping about, I somehow seem to have lost track of what I actually wanted to begin with. I digress..

After writing the above lines, still i don't know what should i do to transform the blinking cursor into words.

Still..

This is Wat i am.. i.e being myself.

Off late, got few comments about my words in the posts on my blog. But those words are just being me or myself. May be there is a lot or everything about me in the blog that a person should be aware or shouldn't be.

As far as i know it doesn't matter. The words in my posts are the reflections of my feelings which i cannot share with any of my close buddies.May be i would be criticized of not having good buddies to share those or I am not eligible to be sharing anything about me with anyone.

To some extent it would be correct... But this is how i am...
I write here for myself and to get back to those old memories. It is weird na?

But being in..

a life that leaves
a sign of pain
a life that brews
a sign of remain

a love for one
a life is heaven
a love undone is
a life of hoven

Days got rolled over again,but the words died in my heart and never made their way to blog. Wanted to write about so many things.. but don know life has become lethargic.

The spirit and the enthu seems to be died inside. Terror struck mumbai again and thought of writing a few lines, but again i am not in the system to change anything and my words and lines may never count.Same bell struck again.. What should i write?

Changed the job,joined another company in the recession time anticipating a change in life. But still i am googling for that change to happen. Lots of feelings,frustrations and loneliness beating me up everyday. I need a change or may be a BREAK!!!! Still not sure what i want??????

All i can say is...

इस मोड़ से जाते हैं
कुछ सुस्त कदम रस्ते
कुछ तेज़ कदम राहें !!

U Never Know !! Destiny or Desire

Isn't it true that we never know what is there in store for us? Or is it like we will always end up what we never wanted to be?

Difficult decision to make .. There is always a thin line between what we desire and what we get. Just we need a sharp eye (in this case soul) to read between the lines. If the soul makes the judgment across the line then we always get what we desired for.

If desire meets destiny then that would be the most satisfied life anyone can spend. But until we find our destiny .... it is the desire which keeps us moving towards our destiny.

We meet so many people and we move away with so many. There will be very few people whom you never wanted to meet .. that is your desire.... But one fine day you end up seeing that person each other and you do not have any option rather than going and a sharing few good words.And you fell well short of those words. This is destiny.

It doesn't mean that you hate or dislike that person. It is like you are running far away from yourself. Life is not about running away from anyone but instead sticking right up there and facing all those stones that life throws at you.

One of my friend used to say " When life throws a lemon at u, don't be satisfied by making a lemonade out of it ... ask for a shot of Tequila instead !! "

Yes very much true. we have to make most of what life gives us. Because there is hardly any second chance.

We would have done some mistakes... May be we were destined to do that .. to evolve as a strong person.. or To learn from the mistakes.

"Learn from the Mistakes".. do not repeat the same. Because life teaches us lessons everyday and we should have the desire to learn .. since we are destined to do that.

U never know what is going to be tomorrow. We know about today. Enjoy today.. Cherish the memories of yesterday and have the desire to wait for tomorrow !!

I-n - Security

I woke up , woke up to hear the soft sound of the lIght drIzzle,, a lIttle downpour marked the begInIng of the raIny season. LIttle breeze made ways through the open wIndows ... wIth sound just lIke a pressure cooker before It whIstles.

Then realIzed that, I dId fInd solace on the bed after I was tIred on that saturaday nIght. agaIn my head rolled over the pIllow ,stIll a faInt murmur of the drums was comIng out of the Ipod earphones as my ears straIn to lIsten to It and started ponder over the dream I just felt.

It took me back In tIme. TIme where I just wanted to dream what I wanted. To the place where I had nIce begInIngs, to that space wIthIn me where I truly want to be.To the space that gIves me joy.

And to a place where Its just u and me and no one else. There Is sIlence yet an unsettIng noIse, all too calm yet too chaotIc, all too statIc yet somehow all In motIon. Yes, It Is just u and me.

I feel lIke I am walkIng wIth you holdIng hands on your favourIte street,brImmIng wIth tress, flutterIng leaf , darkness broken by golden glItterIng of street lIghts and cool breeze that whIspers softly but lucIdly tellIng me that I belong to you. And I smIle.

I smIle to the feelIng what I do feel for you, content wIth the fact that even you feel the same for me, so what If we wont get to talk, what If we wont express each other, what If we bow out to the cIrcumstances, as long as we never let our feelIngs to take a natural death.

Then my mInd saId that I woke up half dreamIng, half sensIng the realIty whIch really Isn't, and half wantIng to go back to sleep, but In entIrety wantIng to be wIth you always.....

And I float In the happIness, of what I become when I am wIth you.

A glass of water brought me back to the real world and then realIsed, how a dream can make you forget the InsecurIty, the need for reassurance, the fact that one day we would stop feelIng, the fact that you mIght not belong to me. An entIre exIstence In that one moment.

And I sank In the sadness, of what I become when I am not wIth you.

WIll I have the faIth to dream agaIn lIke thIs?

As unsure as the 'I' In 'ItalIcs.'

'U" n "I" are Unique..... Always

The below post may not be related to me itself and can be associated with any normal individual.

In any kind or form of relationship the relative values shared between two living beings is always unique. A father shares a different kind of relationship with his daughter than with his Son. In the same way a mother shares a unique relationship with her son and daughter. A National geographic TV channel freak can also notice the same among animals.

But, why do one share unique kind of relationship value with everyone? May be this is the one form of differentiating the relationship that we share with lot of other people. As the word unique itself says with its first two letters "U" n "I" and both are unique.That is the reason when someone leave us behind and decides to move on themselves it hurts a lot. The depression mounts and we feel that is the end of our Life. Because we identified ourselves with that person is so unique that we cannot get related with other person in the similar way. As finger prints are used to decode one's identity,in the similar way the relationship is identified by its uniqueness.

Relationship is a finger print on the promicious note called life, where two living beings mark their prints through the secret relative values shared between them. Neither one can replicate the print on the same promicious paper nor it will be similar. To fork a new relationship a new note with a different mark is needed.
when we meet a person , and they win over our hearts we do distinctly associate with them. May be with their Smile,Lips,Face or Voice and we reap beautiful dreams of spending time or even life together and this relationship one cannot recreate with someone else.

Unique is the reason why someone finds difficult to choose a relationship. May be everyone should understand that we do share a unique type of relative values
and time decides how strong our Uniqueness is.........

Hope all youngsters of my age can Understand :D

आज ज़माने से हार चूका हूँ मैं,
जीसे करता हूँ प्यार ना पा सका हूँ मैं,
वोह हसीना पास ही थी मेरे,
पर उससे बहुत दूर जा चूका हूँ मैं!!
अब थो ये जीदगी उसके बीन गुज़रना पड़ेगा
अकेले ही मरना पड़ेगा !!

आपने पूछा हमसे की हमे कीस चीज़ से प्यार है ...
आप या जीदगी
हमने थो जीदगी कहकर आपको कोदीये.,,
मगर आपको क्या पता था की...
आप है मेरे जीदगी ...आप है मेरे भंदगी !!

No Strings Attached

There was a village of toy makers.Each family was unique by itself. There were those who made dolls, animal toys and stuffed toys. A small girl lived in a little cozy cottage in that village. She was a puppet maker and a master.

Every night all the toys come to life and all the villagers and toys had a great time playing,dancing and enjoying all sorts of things. That is why the dolls from that village was so special. But a day would come when all the toys were packed and sent to their new homes all over the world. But our little girl had a problem and she never wanted to let her puppets go: in fact she never took the strings off.

Everyone's life in the village is detached,they pour so much life into the dolls , they care and hold those toys to play and one fine day they just let them go, because the new toys are to be made. But the little girl in our story loved being attached to them and they brought love,comfort,joy,happiness to her solitary life. But the toys knew someday .. they have to leave their master and go far away and toys always used to ask their masters to detach the strings whenever the toys wished.

One night fire broke out in the village and all the dolls made by the little girl were burnt into ashes and in the course she burnt her hands and was not able to make dolls anymore. She felt so bad and felt it would have been better if she would have detached the strings and let them go.

This is what happens in real life. We attach ourselves to people and we refuse to detach the strings. But the destiny has a different answer. All the strings attached in life has to go. But when the strings detach without our notice it hurts a lot. Yes we think why it can't just be "Black" and "White" ? Why "Grey"(the color of the ash left after strings detached). Yes, i lost my favorite puppet the other day. Even i never wanted to detach the strings , but my puppet cut the strings and left me.

It is better to detach the strings when time comes , otherwise the inwards tears in the heart leaves a scar and unlike outward tears cannot be wiped out.

"It is the curse of the puppet master. Unlike other toy makers, we become attached to our creations the minute we attach those strings. We help, guide and care for them and so, it is difficult to detach the strings when they come daily in our dreams or in our daily life".... How true?

Relate the same with the your loved ones parents,friends, acquaintance etc.., and will feel How true??? isn't it??

References: Short Story in one of the Local Newspaper.

(Impressed by a small little story in the English tabloid and a blog searched in "Google Blog Search. Moreover one of my friend sharing his feelings when his sister left for USA after marriage)