The Year that was !!!

Another year that passed by and we got older by an year. Growing up and to be with the terms of life is a difficult process. We lead our life on the edge or rather rough edges. The questions that life throws at us, the constraints and the decisions. The Desire to excel, desire to do more and desire to hold. The search for the goal, the search for protection and search for serenity. The kindness of the people, the bitterness of the relationship. Most of all the weight of our own responsibilities.

Will be there be any respite or an end???

No, we need to fight for better and it is a continuous process. We all know these things exists , but we have learnt to deal with them better and they do not throw any surprises at us because the year that was had its own fair share of gloomy and bright days. On the eve of new year, the last day ponder over the time that life has given to us which brings us joy and happiness. Otherwise it becomes void and there wont be any relief... the present, free from burden of yesterday as well as tomorrow.

There were gains and losses.. pleasure and pains, happiness and sadness... I hope that last 24 hours takes all the latter with it. And there is calm yet chaotic,mind battles with the heart.. it give strength to struggle and blossoms the interest.

Anyhow, when it gets really low, it starts getting better because it can't get worse. And so, life has started hoping to look better again. Most importantly I have started to wait and do the things in bits and pieces.The world started looking beautiful. Learning to unlearn myself.

There is plenty to do, plenty to achieve and plenty to rekindle. The ability to survive , and to learn and freedom to be me. Here to all, A Happy new year 2011 and biding farewell to the year that was !!!

In Pursuit for the year 2011.....

I Wish.. I Could .....

Boring life and sleepless nights gives some kind of inspiration to budge some words on the blog post. Seems earth is in a real hurry to put this universe into an end, yeah… days are getting rolled down really faster. All I remember is Monday Morning blues every week and by the time I get over from it I am in front of another lazy or rather boring weekend.

I read a line somewhere, “To Start a business you do not need a big investment, but an even bigger IDEA”. I ponder over these words everyday in my cab for which I need to get up very early in the morning which I hate the most. The fire inside me burning high and grudge to start on my own is getting stronger. I know, need to fuel it before it burn into ashes. Or it is just the sensation. May be I do not have that talent to fire an idea.

Wish I will be successful one day, wish I will take my salary home not on some one’s appraisal but on the profit I do. Have loads of things to write, sentences are not becoming short neither the word count going down. But I fear to put my heart out on the black wall (Blog).

Wish I had a girl friend who would have understood what I felt and what I want to tell, Wish I could call her up and talk over the mobile anytime just to spend the night without sleep. Wish I could drive her in my lil car way ahead just to sip a cup of coffee on a chilly winter night. Wish I could hold her hands when I am afraid. Wish I could share the taste of hot chocolate fudge on a rainy day. Wish I could tell her how much I love. Wish I could hear her scolding, feel her beatings, see her eyes when they are angry. And I wish….. …

list is endless.


A vivid creature in my mind tells me that, it is good how you are, do not wish for something which is actually not yours. Hope but not expect!!

Did I mention that I follow heart than the mind????

Quite obvious that I am getting older by an year (It always happens every year) and marriage is around the corner. And I switch to the thoughts of

“Who will marry a guy who just has a bachelor degree and earning just enough to make both ends meet?”

2 states of a fickle Mind..... !!!

A complete non activity on my blog page over the months finally brought me to the front of my desktop to hit few keys on the ever sounding keyboard to unfold the state of my mind.

AT office….

Life seems to be quintessential sometimes, feels great about the path that I have traveled but as boredom peppers my thoughts, life becomes unimaginable. May be getting some writers for my life would make things better.

A normal day in office, and outlook pop up told me that I have an email to read. Sender’s address is not at all important here as the address do not carry any name with it. A thousand testers with their ammunitions would have attacked the poor application and it had showed them the dead end. The dossier of the attack is the mail got from their id.

Now, the entire mind is in the description as millions thoughts goes through my mind to isolate the cause for the issue. In a few hundred million lines of code my job is to find the one buggy line of code….. no one buggy statement… no no one buggy symbol. Yeah, this is my job and I am so bored of it. Always feels that I could stuck up with a job like this forever, may be my entire life. When I realize it, I want to run away, or keep running just like Forrest Gump.

I curse the tester, that who in the universe asked him/her to test the datetime format of the data with microseconds. As I lookup for the answers, I start looking for answers in my IE with google.co.in being typed in the URL. At the end of the day or call it COB/EOD as in software language, I have to assign the bug for a re-test.. no matter what falls on you? !!!

Out of Office…..

As witticisms sprinkle a smile on my face, I sink to the feeling that I am reading a book over someone shoulder’s and each line connects with me. I can smell the new book and it is so refreshing, I stretch my neck to see the collection of alphabets and each set reminds me of the person I am. I stretch little more almost getting up from the seat and effort is not useless as I again re-connect with tiny lines of the book. Now, I want to read more, I want to know more about myself, as curious as a cat to wonder is this the writer I was looking for?

In the middle of thoughts I settle for a comfortable seating as my eyes stares the lines on the rightmost page. Neither my seating position nor the page number made any difference as I witness life unfolding in pages. Again my neck gets stretched to read the last line and I curse the reader to turn the page … PTO…. I calculate his reading ability, but all falls in vain. The page number becomes static, as I wonder about the remaining pages. I make a last minute effort to read the remaining, but as destiny calls it eyes ends up seeing the color of the book as it makes its way into the reader’s bag. I do not want my life to be like this, I want to read the higher page numbers and I should always say to myself “Please Turn Over….” at the end of each page.


Feels like a fiction???? :)

Sorry, the state of my mind is asking more and is asking answers for a question…. I do not know what the answer is but all I can do is scream…

“Here I Am - this is me
There is no where else on earth I’d rather be… “ like Bryan Adams !!

Being in those 4 letters !!

“…And I hope you are the one I share my life with,
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray that you’re the one I build my home with…
I hope I love you all my life….”
--Daniel Bedingfield, If your not the one

Everyone accepts that being in Love is out of the world experience and cannot be compared with anything else in this universe. Hmmm (thinking), may be. I have searched for this feeling all through my life.I always ended up on one side. Put it in right words.. it never matured from Infactiuation.

But, I am not complaining. It is better than to be on One side rather than making it Two. A one side feeling is enough to Blush, enuf to think, enuf to get pampered...

But how long??????

ThanksGiving!!!

Post is dedicated to all those who Wished,blessed and supported me during last 40 days are so.

Recession made me to pay a hefty price and costs me a job change. Now hoping to make the best i am marching to conquer all hurdles.
At very rare occasions i do get chances to "Thank" some one. But most of the times I wont. But this time i don't want to miss this rare opportunity.

Mom,Dad and Grandma. -- My Assets

Sharath,Vinay,Amit,Harsha,Sanjeev,Suman,Uday,Kishan,Satish, Mohan,Sarat,Divya and Priyanka. -- My Friends

Satish,Ramesh and Suresh -- My Cousins

Arundathi,Rekha and Heera -- My dearest bhabis

Vindhya and Vibha -- My younger sisters

Vinu -- My sweet Sister.


I have to admit, Whatever I am today is not because of my deeds. It is all my parents wishes,blessings and faith. And all those are "Invaluable"

Once Again "Thanks for all the support and Wishes"

Synonym to MUSIC.. MJ

"He Never Missed a Beat,But today (on 25th, June '09) beat missed him". This was the quote given by an American after the Great Michael Joseph Jackson passed away. How true? Yes it is and indeed.

I cannot remember when I first heard his name or who told me about Michael Jackson and what he does, because I was really young back then. It's like I already knew it. He was always there. People from every country in the world, knew Michael Jackson even if they didn't know who their president/prime minister was. Such was the popularity of Michael Jackson.

When i was a kid i used to hear his songs, trying to imitate his dance... though television, music gadgets were rare at that time, i could here his beats, his music and see his passion for the same. I didn know he was an American back then. All i remember was there is a person by name Michael Jackson who makes great music and performs to each beat of his tune. Though i never used to understand the lines in English, his music made me to keep my ears always open to listen and ponder over it. He is not just an American, he is the KING to the world of music and its lovers/fans.

People of all age/race were not just heard but rather influenced by him. Gone are the days where millions of people could find themselves unconscious at the glimpse of him.

It doesn't matter if you are Black or White, American or Asian , all that matters is What You Did after coming to this world? And MJ is remembered for his music, but nothing else in ages to come.

Every Song of his had a life of its own. Rest is silent now. MJ you are the greatest ever.

I surely miss your Beats...

RIP... MJ.

All Over Again !!!

After two months of no activity on my blog, I am back.. Down and Dusted!!! The hiatus on blogging tells me how was i pre-occupied with materialistic shadows. But in these eight weeks life threw me some lessons to learn.

Things can screw up your ass and you may hit rock bottom. No where your past achievements comes for the rescue. But,no substitute for hard work.

Believe in those who can support always.. I mean always under any circumstances.

Where ever you go and how well you behave, there will be few people who are jealous of your happiness. They don't matter at all.

Influence should not be over rated. Never get those words from people who thinks what is best for you. No one knows what is best than yourself. I mean it !!

There is no need to show or put up for what you don't like. Minimal interaction is good.

You cannot force anyone to love You !!! I wish i had known this earlier.

It is good We keep our mouth SHUT. It really helps.

Above all.. whatever happens it happens for good :)

Simple Truth

At 211 degrees, water is hot.
At 212 degrees, it boils.
And with boiling water comes steam.
And steam can power a locomotive.
The one extra degree makes all the difference.


So go and cast your vote. Even a single vote could make a huge difference.

Wake UP !!!!

Jago aur Jagao !

Story of Uncertainty ! ! !

It was same time 4 years back,the whole college was buzzing about the first cycle of Campus Interview.Calculating GPA's,preparing resumes,tips of interview,becoming a puzzle in solving a puzzle,increasing inter-personal skills and anticipating for a offer letter with handsome salary. This was the first time the ghost of uncertainty engulfed me.Honestly I wasn't confident even i will get through with any interviews and even i too can have a hand some salary to spend upon.

Touch wood, later got an offer from one of the companay that visited our campus and i self-realized that i wasn't that bad.Later,it was little unknown to me that clouds of uncertainty will fall over me again and again.

Work in MNC,Five figure salary and the status made me a certain person that even i too can think of having a Girl friend,spend some nice moments with her,go on a movie in weekends and chill out ourselves in coffee shops and Ice cream parlors. But, This certainty is still a uncertainty. Now being an employee of so called IT sector eludes me even having of that because even my opposite sex are uncertain about the Software uncertainty. Thanks to global economy.

Then first step into professional life with uncertainties upon its shoulders.First thing was, will i be able to complete my stint as trainee. Then it was, will i be able to code,next is it possible for catching up with deadline,will i get a hike or appraisal and then will my manager be happy with performance. It takes uncertain number of pages to list.

So in the end.....

Still dark clouds of uncertainties hanging over to burst upon me I am signing off saying that those uncertainties gave some little opportunity to be a Human,be responsible and be kind to everyone.

Let's leave it for almighty,thinking there is something for me in near future.Certainly.

I don knw Y???

Was working in the office today.... Work was hectic from last week and pressure to perform was high. Suddenly my phone rang.. I said Hello... in a very low voice not knowing who is there at the other end.

A voice said hello... Then i realized it is indeed my Mom... Then she said come home early and do not eat anything outside i have made Your favorite dish. I said okie will come and hanged up.

After few seconds i realized that there were tears in my eyes. Is it because of work,boredom,tired i don know.

I don know is mother love behind it. Or even i don know i was hungry.

All i know is Watever i may be to the world.. But for my mom i m still her little who likes her a lot. Is it?? Or more than this.. Really Don know...

Thanks Maaa.....